New Jobs, New Sports and Old Friends...

So the last time that you heard from me I was hating on my life on the dole, fully believing that I would be unemployed forever, and basically believing that leaving Poland was the most catastrophic decision that I had ever made.
What's changed? Well two days after that blog post I was interviewed for a role at the University of Leeds and offered the job on the same day, which I duly accepted. That's been pretty awesome. When I was making my plans to come back I decided that if I ended up working in Leeds I would ideally like to work at one of the universities, harnassing my HR experience from a previous life. So I got what I wanted there. It's been two months now and I'm really loving the office that I work in. They're great believers of organised fun, which is fine by me. It means that I've done lots of baking, played 5 a side football for the first time ever and worn things to work that I normally wouldn't be seen dead in. I do love being staff at the University of Leeds. And now that I've finally found the Union (I thought I'd found it on my first day but I hadn't) I really feel like I'm a part of the uni, which sounds corny but it's true.
So that's been a massive improvement.

A couple of months ago I went for my first run in well over a year (turns out running for busses and trains doesn't count as a run) and thought my heart was going to explode. A few days after that I was handed a leaflet for a Colour Run in aid of the local hospice and so decided to sign up with my ridiculously fit and healthy sister. That's been the best motivation ever, half a mile killed me two months ago, now even when I run three I feel like I could do another, it's a brilliant feeling when you see the improvement. Plus I have one chin now, which is ace.

I haven't seen as many of my old favourites as I would have liked to yet but considering I was unemployed for two months I haven't done too badly. And a trip to the Deen is on the cards soon to stay with two of my favourite people in the whole world. One of my Panis from Poland is back in the country so I will be seeing her soon too to pounce on her and force her to drink Polish vodka with me. I'll be seeing more people in the coming months as well and hoping (!!!) some of them come to the land of the 'fax so that I can show them around (hint hint).

So the tone of this blog still makes me sound like I'm feeling a little 'meh' about my life but I really am just trying to make the best out of my situation. I'm really not where I thought I'd be at 25 but I'm determined that by 26 (or maybe 26 and a half) I will be booking my next flight to satisfy my ever-present wanderlust. 

Everything happens for a reason, onwards and upwards and all the usual platitudes. It's not a bad life, and I really am on a rollercoaster that only goes up.

Sometimes Living Out Your Dreams...

Good evening world! I'm back, and this time I am writing from an unfamiliar and foreign country...
Britain.
Britain is so weird. In all honesty it's been a major culture shock being back and I am ashamed to say that I am still adjusting to life here, especially since things are taking much, much longer than I expected to kick off.
First of all, I want to kill the stigma attached to this and let people see that it isn't just dossers doing it, but I'm on the dole. It is fucking depressing, I don't know how anyone can live off it. I mean it's practically no money at all and it's a dire place, yet the amount of people I've heard saying "I can't be bothered to find a job" makes me wonder how people could choose this lifestyle? I have now applied for SIXTY jobs. SIXTY. And you know what? I haven't gotten ANY of them. The lady at the job centre today said "eee you won't be here for long." Well then what the hell am I doing wrong?! I am quite frankly sick of hearing that. I am either overqualified, under qualified or a flight risk. I tell people I'm here to settle down and they think I'm boring, I tell people I'm jetting off again in a year and they think I'm unreliable. (Not helped of course by the fact that I have had fifteen jobs since I was sixteen years old). And overqualified? Fuck off. I have an English degree, I have come to terms with the fact that it is practically useless without a postgrad and you need to do the same. (No disrespect to my lovelies also with English degrees, it just hasn't brought me much luck in the past three years. You're all doing awesomely though :))
Ok. Vent over, onto other topics not related to the doom centre.

So I am on week five of being back on British soil and I have achieved some great things, I lost weight, I gained weight, I got a boyfriend, I got married, I had 3 kids, I became a super spy and I saw the ghost of my past lover.
On the Sims.
In real life not enough has happened to make this a worthwhile blog, I just figured I'd ought to write something in case you all thought I was still loving life in Wroclaw.
This past month has felt like the biggest comedown of my life. Poland was incredible and so much more than I ever hoped it to be, and it's helped me realise what I really want to spend my life doing. The minute these debts are gone I'm spinning a globe, picking a country and applying for teaching jobs there, and then I'm off again. Poland was a stress at times, but it was an adventure and a half and exactly what I needed. Everyone I met out there has changed my life for the better and I miss them terribly (especially the infamous Jarek).
I think what's made it harder is that two of my now very close friends are still out there, living without them is odd and empty at times and so my FOMOS is coming out strong (Fear Of Missing Out Syndrome).
But, onwards and upwards and onto the new adventure. I just hope that adventure doesn't entail any more time spent at the job centre, cause if so I'm on the first Ryanair flight to Krakow and dealing with the catastrophic consequences.

Don't worry, my next blog will be upbeat and filled with good news. Tonight my heart is just aching for these two lovelies...

and this insanely beautiful city...

But for now it's on to the next one. Hello Indeed.com, are you sick of me yet?

Wroclaw, In A Nutshell

So, it's been four days since I got off the big red bus in Wroclaw and quite frankly, I haven't felt this much in love since I was 19 years old. This place is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful cities that I have ever seen.
On Wednesday morning I started teaching at 8am, and so went into town earlier and set about finding cheap food and coffee. I walked towards the giant McDonald's sign and found myself in the main square. Holy crapballs it is beautiful, and it was the best way to start my first day of teaching in the new city.

Some of the beauty in the main square.

Teaching in Wroclaw was lovely and on the Wednesday night my Krakowian flatmate, Danielle arrived which made my life even more fun in Wroclaw. We spend Wednesday eating the worst Zapiekanka I've ever experienced but that has been the only bad moment of our little holiday.
On Friday our holiday properly began and we went on a little adventure to Wroclaw's zoo. It turned out to only be 5zl each to get in as a lot of it is in disarray due to them building a new building.  It did not disappoint though. The minute we walked in the entrance we saw giraffes running by, causing us to scream and run towards the non existent ticket queue. They had the best reptile house that I have ever seen, with pythons, cobras, alligators, CROCODILES and a myriad of other animals. We saw a pirahna in the aquarium along with sting rays and Nemos. Then after all that we found seals, monkeys, lions, tigers, elephants, bears, and wolves. I imagine in summer it would be an amazing place to go as even in winter with very few guests it was a bloody good day out.

This meerkat is the most relaxed animal I have ever seen.

I made friends with a horse.

We had a staring competition with a pirahna.

I wasn't sure what the sign said in Polish, but I got the gist.

We're basically identical.

He was basically awesome.

A seal photobombed us.

So yeah, essentially Wroclaw zoo is amazing. On Friday night we just chilled out at the flat and had an early night. We had no desire to go out and drink, all we wanted was bed and a movie. Getting old I say.
Today (Saturday) we started our day by wandering down to tourist information to pick up a free map of the city, which we didn't use. Instead we decided to walk towards the river and keep walking along until we found an island which our Wroclaw flatmate had told us about. It was stunning, just a small island in the middle of the city with a monestry and a nunnery, and one of the most outstanding churches I have ever seen. For just 5zl we got to go up to the top of the tower where we had a panoramic view of the city, where I professed my undying love of the city.

Sadly no camera could do this justice.

 

 

The big church, the tower on the left is the one we went up.

After that we walked back across the Lover's Bridge. We read online that they're planning on getting rid of all the padlocks as part of their renovation of the city. That. Cannot. Happen. There were so many, and whilst it's corny it warmed my cold cynical heart.

I tried to be all cool and photographer esque.

After that we wandered about Wroclaw a bit more and then headed back to the flat. It sounds sad but all we wanted was some peace and quiet and chill time with our favourite TV programmes. Krakow's flat doesn't have real wifi so we have been taking full advantage of it.
Before we headed back to the flat though we went up to what looks like an outdoor theatre next to our flat. It's pretty run down but looks pretty cool. I have no idea what it's called and I can't find anything online about it but apparently prisoners were kept underneath it. So it probably wasn't an outdoor theatre but it looks like it.

It's fallen into disarray but it's still pretty spectacular

If anyone can translate this from Roman numerals for me that would be fab.

Ok, so I have just found some info on it, so if you fancy reading about it then get google translate open and have a gander :) http://klejne.pl/portfolio-view/wroclaw-ul-piotra-skargi-18-wzgorze-partyzantow/

So yeah, we've just come back now from having a drink with a few of the teachers here and now we're getting ready to journey back to Krakow tomorrow morning. Winter break is officially over and planning is going to bring us back to reality with a bump tomorrow. To sum up, being able to come to Wroclaw before I go home has been amazing and I know that I will be back. Maybe even as a teacher... who knows?
Wroclaw, I love you. Krakow, bring on the last two weeks!

pięć miesięcy Polska

So, that's it. You all know now, I'm coming home in 5 weeks. The exact date has not yet been set and probably won't be for a while but if feels good to be able to talk about it and plan.
But this blog isn't about my reasons for moving home, needless to say they are quite personal....
I was speaking to Laura the other day about this, the amount of people who say "oh, you're doing the whole TEFL thing then." Then dismiss it as if it's not a legitimate way of life. It is, people. It is an amazing and rewarding experience that can totally be a career if you want it to be.
In all honesty, I thought I would hate this. I have always wanted to TEFL, but it was always only as an excuse to travel and get paid for it. Five months ago the concept of standing up in front of a bunch of teenagers, soldiers, pre-teens, and judging adults terrified the shit out of me. I had no confidence during my two weeks of training and trembled my way through my first lesson, with no idea how I would cope with my next five months here.
And then Krakow happened. I went from teaching with a structured method in a language school to ad-libbing communicative lessons with Polish kids aged from 6 to 17. Shitting myself didn't even begin to cover it, but it has done me the world of good. I never thought I would have this confidence, but all my fears died the minute I had to verbally bitch slap a class of eighteen teenagers for being twats. I didn't think I had it in me. Some days I still doubt it. But the best thing is that not only have I coped, but I sodding love it. That's right, I bloody love teaching. There are some kids that I am going to bawl my eyes out over saying goodbye to. It's going to be harder telling them than it was my boss and I know I'm going to have a speech planned. But it's ok, I'm going to bring them cake.

Since September I have met a bunch of incredible people who have inspired me, made me laugh like a mad woman, brought on inane conversations and a lot of vodka. I know that I will be friends with most of them forever. Poland itself has amazed me. I came here because of my heritage but have discovered so much more than I ever expected to. It's an absurd, slightly crazy yet beautiful country, that feels a world away from Britain. I know I'm going to miss it so much that it will make me ache.

These past months have been the best and most stressful months of my life, but I can say without a doubt that coming to Poland was the best and smartest decision I have ever made.
I can definitely say that the most important thing that I have learnt through this is that you have one life, and it is meant to be lived to the fullest. So take chances, follow your dreams and make big plans. Do more than just exist.
Next step is Russia, and I am so ready for it!

2013

So, last night I just couldn’t sleep, no matter what I did and so decided to write. For the next 2 hours I wrote what you are about to read and didn’t turn the light off again until half past four in the morning.

I would like to warn you now that it is cheesy, self-gratifying and rather egotistical; but 2013 was the biggest year of my life so far and I wanted to document it in a way that would fill me with the pride that I should be feeling.

So, if you don’t want to read a run through of my 2013 (I don’t blame you if you don’t) here is one of the best YouTube videos ever… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGUIpv-JxI

January

January started strangely for me, as I was still in England and hadn’t woken up with a raging hangover like I usually do on NYD. I remember feeling very hopeful that 2013 would be the year that I sorted my shit out. I went to Nottingham and spent far too much money on getting hammered with my two best friends, and then ventured back up north two days later. I will never forget crying at the train station with my mum. I will never forget how lost I felt. I didn’t want to go back to Aberdeen and I didn’t especially want to stay in Halifax. And there was no doubt at all that I didn’t want to go back to that flat. But it was work and the Noble lot who motivated me to go back. And so I did…

That month I made 12 resolutions for the year, convinced they would be forgotten about. These were them, the official list…

1. 1.       Say ‘no’ more, and by the same token, say ‘yes’ more too.
2. 2.       Find something to smile about every day.
3. 3.       Don’t sweat the small stuff.
4. 4.       Be 100x healthier.
5. 5.       Try something new every month.
6. 6.       Do something that terrifies me.
7. 7.       Accept the differences in others.
8. 8.       Write something every month.
9. 9.       Save as much as possible but don’t be afraid to have a little fun.
10. 10.   Travel to somewhere new and exciting.
11. 11.   Always be reading something.
12.   Love, smile, and laugh every day.

Looking at these resolutions now I realise more than ever what a funk I was in this time last year. I was desperate to get out of it, but at that point I had no idea how.

So I started going to the gym a lot, tried a new sport, and tried to be happy so badly. But it wasn’t working.

Then, one day, I found a TEFL course on Groupon for £50. I instantly bought it and finally something clicked. I wanted to leave Aberdeen. So I started the course and then convinced myself that I wanted to move to Edinburgh, so I started applying for jobs there too. Within a week I had an interview with a marketing firm so I booked a holiday for the day and started prepping and freaking out…

February

The interview was on the 4^th of February, it was a Monday. I caught a very early train and wandered the streets of Edinburgh for hours before catching a cab to the office. The job wasn’t what I thought, and after being kept waiting for an hour and a half I was finally called in for my 5 minute interview. I got a second interview and I was buzzing. Thankfully dinner with my best friend knocked some sense into me. Why was I going to give up everything I had in Aberdeen to move to a place with no friends, no safety net, pay £600 a month in rent alone when I was already in a fragile state? I mulled over it all on the way home and as excited as I still was I knew there was something else waiting for me.

So I googled. Boy did I google. And when I saw it, I knew that it was right for me, I knew it was what I wanted and it just made so much sense. I will never forget pulling one of my best friends into the filing room to tell her about the phone call I’d had the night before. I will never forget announcing that I was going to teach English in Poland to all my friends, believing it would be so easy to go it alone.

Fully aware that my lease was up in April and that there was no way in hell I was living in that flat again I started asking people for advice on what to do. Looking back on it now the solution was so simple, but at that point I was still fighting it. I figured I would work until August and then fly out; it gave me time to finish my TEFL, save some money and find a job. But I knew if I was going to live in Aberdeen whilst I was working it would mean getting into another lease, as sadly I had nowhere else to go. Once again, all it took was one phone call with my best and wisest friend and I had made a decision. I phoned home, told my mum that I was moving to England in April and started packing. (That’s a lie; I left it until the last minute)

My boss caught me in the kitchen the following week, a week before I had decided I was handing in my notice and asked me to come to his office to discuss my progression within the department. I am ashamed to say that I freaked the hell out, because I knew the minute I stepped into that office everything would change. Resigning from that job terrified me more than it ever has before. But I did it. I took a deep breath and walked in.

“Sooo… yeah, you wanted to speak to me about moving up in the company? Yeah, I’ve kind of made a life changing decision… in that I’m moving to England in April, finishing my TEFL and then going travelling around the world.”

News of my resignation spread quicker than I ever thought it would, people were ringing and emailing. It was lovely to experience, to know that after just 6 short months with the company I had made friends that I still miss every day.

And then the handover started…

March

The more I cleaned up my desk, the more I found to pass over and finish doing. March was an insane month but also filled with a lot of love. It was a proud month for my family, as we watched my sister graduate from her basic training, and it was an eye opening month for me. As the goodbye lunches and drinks started I realised quickly who would not be staying in my address book when the 10^th April came round. The ones I held so dear to me in recent years had decided neither to acknowledge my departure nor utter a goodbye. I wish this hadn’t have hurt me as much as it did, but I was devastated. The friends who I had shared so much with, including my home, had become so distant that I didn’t even factor into their lives. Looking back now I couldn’t care less, but at the time I felt like my whole world was crashing down.

But those people aside, March was a very good month, and I got to do my offshore survival, which is my coolest thing to tell students now.

April

April blew in like a whirlwind, and my last day came quicker than I ever wanted it to. Despite how excited I was by my new adventure I was so sad to be leaving those who had become dearest to me in the recent months.  I managed to hold back my tears until the train pulled away from Aberdeen, when true to form, I blasted ‘Dog Days Are Over’ and forced a montage moment. I was leaving it all behind. In some respects, I was running away. But as it turned out I was running into something so much better.

It was my second week in Halifax when I found my summer job; my first day was the day before my birthday. The job bored me out of my skull but it motivated the hell out of me to get on with what I moved to England to accomplish… a brand new adventure.

May

Sadly though, in May, I still hadn’t gotten to module 2 of my £50 TEFL certificate. I was questioning my decisions one day at work when I received an email telling me that the Poland TEFL Internship had reopened and to book now. With it, I had to buy a new TEFL certificate and spend half of my savings but after some deliberation with my lovely mum I decided to book it the next day. And so TEFL number two began. I filled out the internship application form and awaited the interview date, and in that time learned all about the evils of grammar…

June

The email came on the 4^th of June, my interview was to be on the 6^th. So far I had kept it quiet at work but by the time the next 3 weeks had passed everyone knew what I was doing. The interview itself was terrifying. If I did it now I would be fine, as I fully understand the relevance of his questions, but that night, when I hit ‘end’ on the Skype call and sighed the biggest sigh of relief in recent months.

The next three weeks were hell. I refreshed my emails every 5 minutes, I hounded my references for intel; I was convinced I hadn’t got it. And then on the 26^th of June I had just signed in a visitor at work who was still at the desk on his phone and I clicked refresh. This time it was purely out of habit. And there it was… ‘job offer’. I didn’t believe it until I clicked it and as the tears came to my eyes and the smile spread across my face I texted everyone who knew what I was doing. ‘I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO POLAND!!’ I found the texts over Christmas, now it just seems surreal. That weekend myself and my friends all met in Manchester and telling them about something other than a new job in the oil industry was far too exciting. This was it, in nine weeks I was going to be in Poland…

July

From now I had more goodbyes to deal with, only 3 months since my first set. I had to do my TEFL, get more money saved, all whilst working full time and going on my mini holidays which had been organised with my mum. London, Newcastle, Manchester, Edinburgh, Liverpool. I saw so many places that summer, and I still have the train tickets to prove it.

Finally, in the last week of July the TEFL was completed. With all the certificates in pride of place on my shelf I started thinking about packing… (which I, again, left until the last minute).

August

August was a blur of fear and preparation. The fear came from doubting my abilities as a teacher, but I needn’t have worried. Poland so far has prepared me for all aspects of teaching. Nevertheless, I sent freak out texts and at one point considered backing out. Obviously, I didn’t do that.

After my last day at work (only 4 months there and I felt gloomy about leaving) I hopped on a train (and another train, and another one, and then a bus) to Aberdeen for the first time since I legged it in April. It was amazing to see everyone and catch up on their lives. I am so glad I went before I got on the plane, because right now I am not sure when I am going to be back again.

September

At half past 11 on the 1^st September I boarded my flight to Krakow. I had never flown alone before so the nerves already in my stomach combined with the Ryanair paranoia wasn’t the best combination. Saying that, I will never have the feeling that I had on that plane again; the pride, the anticipation, the ‘I fucking did it’ realisation. It was such a phenomenal feeling.

All my worries and fears about teaching were quickly stomped out of me in training, and after a mild issue involving the law I got right into teaching. It felt natural the minute I got into the classroom and from that moment I knew that I was doing the right thing.

By the end of September I had moved from Bielsko to Gliwice to Krakow, where I finally settled and got stuck in…

October

October was a whirlwind of sightseeing, vodka and getting to know my new flatmates. There isn’t a lot to say about October. I was teaching and I was experiencing Krakow; I was loving my new life.

November

November was much the same; expect the anticipation of a Polish Christmas was ever present. Morale wise it was the best month due to a few issues, but Krakow never failed to disappoint and by the second week it really began to feel like home. I extended my contract until the end of June and was ecstatic to spend an extra four months in this new world I had found myself in. Tram roulette was born, IKEA was experienced, and our tram passes appeared. I will never forget playing tram roulette at 3am and just waiting at Lubicz for 45 minutes because I was flat out refusing to walk the two stops home.

A good friend of mine visited at the end of the month and it was awesome to show her around my new home. Saying goodbye was sad but the minute I left the airport I had to get stuck back into lesson planning and teaching. It was a lovely change to have her here though.

December

And just like that we had thirty-one days left of what had been an eventful year. December was filled with chocolate, winter lessons, Christmas lessons, too many cups of mulled wine but some very rewarding classes.

I went home for the last week. Landing in Leeds was more emotional than I expected it to be. This was the longest I had been out of Britain for and going back was quite the culture shock. Being at home was amazing though, and the ability to talk with my loved ones without Skype filled me with so much joy. But then before I knew it I was back on Polish soil and in my bedroom/kitchen.

2013 meant so much to me. When I think back to where I was at the start of the year I can’t believe all that has changed. I had lived in Aberdeen for my whole life and gotten myself into vicious circle from it all. At the start of the year I just couldn’t find a way out, but the minute I left everything fell into place. The moment I wrote those resolutions in January I knew I wanted to change things for myself, but after saying that for so many years I didn’t believe it would actually happen. I didn't realise how much I was willing to do and how far I was willing to go at that time just to be happy. I am aware of how self-gratifying I am appearing right now but I am so insanely proud of myself. In just twelve short months I changed my attitude, my outlook and my motivations for the better, and believe me, if I can do it, anyone can.

A Day in the Life of an ESL Teacher in Krakow

So, I was going to write a blog about the average teacher’s life in Krakow… but then I remembered that I am pretty unconventional in a number of ways. I mean, even when I was trying to describe a normal British Christmas I struggled. In my house this involves game shows, makeshift theatre nights, Poundland Santas and the yearly themed angel. Very few things in my life is normal, and my Polish life is no different.

So here is my average Monday, as it’s usually when the most outrageous things happen.

6.30am: This is around the time that I try to surface from my pit and mix coffee drinking and showering. One day I tried to do them both at the same time, but then soon realised I would be washing my hair with Nescafe and drinking my cheap Carrefour shampoo so I decided to separate the two activities.

6.45am: When I actually get out of bed. Still after four months I’m paranoid that I am going to sleep in and so I am still getting up stupidly early for a school we live 10 minutes away from.

7.35am: This is when I always tell myself I will leave the flat, but coffee usually calls. If I have to sneak into the photocopying room then I will force myself to get out of bed at this time but really…

7.50am: This is when I run out. I always buy cereal for the flat but can’t deal with Polish milk so I usually stop off at the Piekarnia on the way to school and pick up a bottle of water (NIEGAZOWANA!) and a pastry thing that I can’t pronounce and rarely know what is in it.

8.20am: My first class of the day are primary sevens (SPVI to Poland). They’re a lovely class and a few of them are extremely adamant that everyone must only speak English. There’s one boy who likes to control the games and always thinks up new twists for them, so I let him get on with that as long as he does it all in English. I usually finish this class grinning like an idiot.

9.05am: I clean up the classroom and check Facebook. That’s the sad truth. When we didn’t have wifi in the flat this was the only place I could check Facebook, and I AM living in a foreign country…

9.15am: Between now and 10:55 I have my Monday teens. In all honesty they can be a bit touch and go behaviour and attitude wise so I am going to avoid going into detail. Some days it’s good, some days it's not amazing. But generally they listen and go along with the activities even though they don't want to.

11.00am: I escape the attic classrooms and go to the staff room to monopolise the photocopiers again in preparation for the ... ahem... afternoon I have ahead.

11.30am: Trying to get out of this school often makes me feel like a celebrity. In that almost every single student says hello to you in the halls. It’s really nice as generally they like us, but I never leave the school without saying hello thirty times. So I grab a sandwich for lunch and 99.9% of the time it has a gherkin in it. PEOPLE OF POLAND: WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH GHERKINS?! It makes me so angry because it just ruins an otherwise delicious sandwich.
At this point I either go home to plan or ogle at the main square for a bit. Sometimes I will treat myself to a 10zl coffee, but very rarely. This is only £2 to you guys but to me it’s a big chunk of my daily budget.

1.30pm: Wherever I am, and whatever I am doing, this is when I start fearing for my safety.

1.55pm: I’m back at the same school as I was in the morning and I am in Swietlica (the common room) to pick up the children. They come over and act really cute and excitable but are still convinced that I speak Polish.

2.05pm: The class started 5 minutes ago and I’m still in Swietlica trying to find everyone and waiting for the kids to put on their shoes. They are still jabbering away to me in Polish. I still don't understand.

2.15pm: We finally arrive at the classroom. Some head for the board immediately, others practice their planking skills on the desks.

2.17pm: I hide the chalk and attempt to take the register.

2.20pm: This is when I discover that I have hidden the chalk so well that I can’t find it either. So I get them to play a game designed to get all energy out (and revise previous work, obvs).

2.27pm: Presentation of new work starts and no one listens apart from two little angelic girls. Everyone else starts to beg for the toilet at once.

2.33pm: Worksheets go out and I do the presentation again in groups as no one listened to begin with.

2.45pm: Thankfully, the worksheets usually come in without any paint or excrement on and they all run out shouting “goodbye and thank you”. At least they have manners.

2.48pm: Close door and put my head on the desk until…

2.50pm: The cutest and strangest boy from my next class comes in and cons me into helping him with his maths homework.

2.55pm: Some more come in as I am leaving to get the others. This scares me more than anything.

3.05pm Finally, I get back to the classroom with the other children to find the classroom in chaos. Amazingly, they have found the lost chalk.

3.10pm: Attempt to teach the same lesson as the previous class after “taking the register” (i.e. hearing ‘absent’ 10 times as they all think it’s hilarious, still)

3.30pm: Cute and strange maths boy escapes “to the toilet” and comes back with hostages and/or milk.

3.35pm: Hostages and/or milk are on the floor.

3.37pm: Hostages and/or milk leave.

3.43pm: Draw stars and smiley faces on the board next to the names of that week's well behaved students. Those who do not get any write “Kasia :( :( :( :(”. Charming.

3.50pm: Leg it to our office, and this is REALLY legging it.

4.01pm: Arrive for a one on one with THE LOVELIEST 11 YEAR OLD ON THE WORLD! He is very nervous though and repeats everything I say, even “my name is Katharine.” This boy is probably my most rewarding student, mainly for watching his confidence improve. He’s a darling.

4.50pm: The lesson is over after so much eliciting and activities designed for him to speak to me. I get a lovely smile from his granddad and skip out into the main room with a big smile on my face :)

5.00pm: From now I either plan my lessons for the next day, go and eat something direly needed, or hit up Kazimierz for Zapiekanka and a cheeky Piwo.

11.00pm: I finally re-enter my pit ready to face the kids again the next day. Luckily there’s never a hostage situation on a Tuesday.