A Day in the Life of an ESL Teacher in Krakow

So, I was going to write a blog about the average teacher’s life in Krakow… but then I remembered that I am pretty unconventional in a number of ways. I mean, even when I was trying to describe a normal British Christmas I struggled. In my house this involves game shows, makeshift theatre nights, Poundland Santas and the yearly themed angel. Very few things in my life is normal, and my Polish life is no different.

So here is my average Monday, as it’s usually when the most outrageous things happen.

6.30am: This is around the time that I try to surface from my pit and mix coffee drinking and showering. One day I tried to do them both at the same time, but then soon realised I would be washing my hair with Nescafe and drinking my cheap Carrefour shampoo so I decided to separate the two activities.

6.45am: When I actually get out of bed. Still after four months I’m paranoid that I am going to sleep in and so I am still getting up stupidly early for a school we live 10 minutes away from.

7.35am: This is when I always tell myself I will leave the flat, but coffee usually calls. If I have to sneak into the photocopying room then I will force myself to get out of bed at this time but really…

7.50am: This is when I run out. I always buy cereal for the flat but can’t deal with Polish milk so I usually stop off at the Piekarnia on the way to school and pick up a bottle of water (NIEGAZOWANA!) and a pastry thing that I can’t pronounce and rarely know what is in it.

8.20am: My first class of the day are primary sevens (SPVI to Poland). They’re a lovely class and a few of them are extremely adamant that everyone must only speak English. There’s one boy who likes to control the games and always thinks up new twists for them, so I let him get on with that as long as he does it all in English. I usually finish this class grinning like an idiot.

9.05am: I clean up the classroom and check Facebook. That’s the sad truth. When we didn’t have wifi in the flat this was the only place I could check Facebook, and I AM living in a foreign country…

9.15am: Between now and 10:55 I have my Monday teens. In all honesty they can be a bit touch and go behaviour and attitude wise so I am going to avoid going into detail. Some days it’s good, some days it's not amazing. But generally they listen and go along with the activities even though they don't want to.

11.00am: I escape the attic classrooms and go to the staff room to monopolise the photocopiers again in preparation for the ... ahem... afternoon I have ahead.

11.30am: Trying to get out of this school often makes me feel like a celebrity. In that almost every single student says hello to you in the halls. It’s really nice as generally they like us, but I never leave the school without saying hello thirty times. So I grab a sandwich for lunch and 99.9% of the time it has a gherkin in it. PEOPLE OF POLAND: WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH GHERKINS?! It makes me so angry because it just ruins an otherwise delicious sandwich.
At this point I either go home to plan or ogle at the main square for a bit. Sometimes I will treat myself to a 10zl coffee, but very rarely. This is only £2 to you guys but to me it’s a big chunk of my daily budget.

1.30pm: Wherever I am, and whatever I am doing, this is when I start fearing for my safety.

1.55pm: I’m back at the same school as I was in the morning and I am in Swietlica (the common room) to pick up the children. They come over and act really cute and excitable but are still convinced that I speak Polish.

2.05pm: The class started 5 minutes ago and I’m still in Swietlica trying to find everyone and waiting for the kids to put on their shoes. They are still jabbering away to me in Polish. I still don't understand.

2.15pm: We finally arrive at the classroom. Some head for the board immediately, others practice their planking skills on the desks.

2.17pm: I hide the chalk and attempt to take the register.

2.20pm: This is when I discover that I have hidden the chalk so well that I can’t find it either. So I get them to play a game designed to get all energy out (and revise previous work, obvs).

2.27pm: Presentation of new work starts and no one listens apart from two little angelic girls. Everyone else starts to beg for the toilet at once.

2.33pm: Worksheets go out and I do the presentation again in groups as no one listened to begin with.

2.45pm: Thankfully, the worksheets usually come in without any paint or excrement on and they all run out shouting “goodbye and thank you”. At least they have manners.

2.48pm: Close door and put my head on the desk until…

2.50pm: The cutest and strangest boy from my next class comes in and cons me into helping him with his maths homework.

2.55pm: Some more come in as I am leaving to get the others. This scares me more than anything.

3.05pm Finally, I get back to the classroom with the other children to find the classroom in chaos. Amazingly, they have found the lost chalk.

3.10pm: Attempt to teach the same lesson as the previous class after “taking the register” (i.e. hearing ‘absent’ 10 times as they all think it’s hilarious, still)

3.30pm: Cute and strange maths boy escapes “to the toilet” and comes back with hostages and/or milk.

3.35pm: Hostages and/or milk are on the floor.

3.37pm: Hostages and/or milk leave.

3.43pm: Draw stars and smiley faces on the board next to the names of that week's well behaved students. Those who do not get any write “Kasia :( :( :( :(”. Charming.

3.50pm: Leg it to our office, and this is REALLY legging it.

4.01pm: Arrive for a one on one with THE LOVELIEST 11 YEAR OLD ON THE WORLD! He is very nervous though and repeats everything I say, even “my name is Katharine.” This boy is probably my most rewarding student, mainly for watching his confidence improve. He’s a darling.

4.50pm: The lesson is over after so much eliciting and activities designed for him to speak to me. I get a lovely smile from his granddad and skip out into the main room with a big smile on my face :)

5.00pm: From now I either plan my lessons for the next day, go and eat something direly needed, or hit up Kazimierz for Zapiekanka and a cheeky Piwo.

11.00pm: I finally re-enter my pit ready to face the kids again the next day. Luckily there’s never a hostage situation on a Tuesday.