So, last night I just couldn’t sleep, no matter what I did
and so decided to write. For the next 2 hours I wrote what you are about to
read and didn’t turn the light off again until half past four in the morning.
I would like to warn you now that it is cheesy, self-gratifying
and rather egotistical; but 2013 was the biggest year of my life so far and I
wanted to document it in a way that would fill me with the pride that I should
be feeling.
So, if you don’t want to read a run through of my 2013 (I
don’t blame you if you don’t) here is one of the best YouTube videos ever… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGUIpv-JxI
January
January started strangely for me, as I was still in England
and hadn’t woken up with a raging hangover like I usually do on NYD. I remember
feeling very hopeful that 2013 would be the year that I sorted my shit out. I
went to Nottingham and spent far too much money on getting hammered with my two
best friends, and then ventured back up north two days later. I will never
forget crying at the train station with my mum. I will never forget how lost I
felt. I didn’t want to go back to Aberdeen and I didn’t especially want to stay
in Halifax. And there was no doubt at all that I didn’t want to go back to that
flat. But it was work and the Noble lot who motivated me to go back. And so I
did…
That month I made 12 resolutions for the year, convinced
they would be forgotten about. These were them, the official list…
- 1. Say ‘no’ more, and by the same token, say ‘yes’ more too.
- 2. Find something to smile about every day.
- 3. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
- 4. Be 100x healthier.
- 5. Try something new every month.
- 6. Do something that terrifies me.
- 7. Accept the differences in others.
- 8. Write something every month.
- 9. Save as much as possible but don’t be afraid to have a little fun.
- 10. Travel to somewhere new and exciting.
- 11. Always be reading something.
- Love, smile, and laugh every day.
Looking at these resolutions now I realise more than ever
what a funk I was in this time last year. I was desperate to get out of it, but
at that point I had no idea how.
So I started going to the gym a lot, tried a new sport, and
tried to be happy so badly. But it wasn’t working.
Then, one day, I found a TEFL course on Groupon for £50. I
instantly bought it and finally something clicked. I wanted to leave Aberdeen.
So I started the course and then convinced myself that I wanted to move to
Edinburgh, so I started applying for jobs there too. Within a week I had an
interview with a marketing firm so I booked a holiday for the day and started
prepping and freaking out…
February
The interview was on the 4th of February, it was a Monday. I caught a very early train and wandered the streets of Edinburgh for hours before catching a cab to the office. The job wasn’t what I thought, and after being kept waiting for an hour and a half I was finally called in for my 5 minute interview. I got a second interview and I was buzzing. Thankfully dinner with my best friend knocked some sense into me. Why was I going to give up everything I had in Aberdeen to move to a place with no friends, no safety net, pay £600 a month in rent alone when I was already in a fragile state? I mulled over it all on the way home and as excited as I still was I knew there was something else waiting for me.
So I googled. Boy did I google. And when I saw it, I knew
that it was right for me, I knew it was what I wanted and it just made so much
sense. I will never forget pulling one of my best friends into the filing room
to tell her about the phone call I’d had the night before. I will never forget
announcing that I was going to teach English in Poland to all my friends,
believing it would be so easy to go it alone.
Fully aware that my lease was up in April and that there was
no way in hell I was living in that flat again I started asking people for
advice on what to do. Looking back on it now the solution was so simple, but at
that point I was still fighting it. I figured I would work until August and
then fly out; it gave me time to finish my TEFL, save some money and find a job.
But I knew if I was going to live in Aberdeen whilst I was working it would
mean getting into another lease, as sadly I had nowhere else to go. Once again,
all it took was one phone call with my best and wisest friend and I had made a
decision. I phoned home, told my mum that I was moving to England in April and
started packing. (That’s a lie; I left it until the last minute)
My boss caught me in the kitchen the following week, a week
before I had decided I was handing in my notice and asked me to come to his
office to discuss my progression within the department. I am ashamed to say
that I freaked the hell out, because I knew the minute I stepped into that
office everything would change. Resigning from that job terrified me more than
it ever has before. But I did it. I took a deep breath and walked in.
“Sooo… yeah, you wanted to speak to me about moving up in
the company? Yeah, I’ve kind of made a life changing decision… in that I’m
moving to England in April, finishing my TEFL and then going travelling around
the world.”
News of my resignation spread quicker than I ever thought it
would, people were ringing and emailing. It was lovely to experience, to know
that after just 6 short months with the company I had made friends that I still
miss every day.
And then the handover started…
March
The more I cleaned up my desk, the more I found to pass over and finish doing. March was an insane month but also filled with a lot of love. It was a proud month for my family, as we watched my sister graduate from her basic training, and it was an eye opening month for me. As the goodbye lunches and drinks started I realised quickly who would not be staying in my address book when the 10th April came round. The ones I held so dear to me in recent years had decided neither to acknowledge my departure nor utter a goodbye. I wish this hadn’t have hurt me as much as it did, but I was devastated. The friends who I had shared so much with, including my home, had become so distant that I didn’t even factor into their lives. Looking back now I couldn’t care less, but at the time I felt like my whole world was crashing down.
But those people aside, March was a very good month, and I
got to do my offshore survival, which is my coolest thing to tell students now.
April
April blew in like a whirlwind, and my last day came quicker than I ever wanted it to. Despite how excited I was by my new adventure I was so sad to be leaving those who had become dearest to me in the recent months. I managed to hold back my tears until the train pulled away from Aberdeen, when true to form, I blasted ‘Dog Days Are Over’ and forced a montage moment. I was leaving it all behind. In some respects, I was running away. But as it turned out I was running into something so much better.
It was my second week in Halifax when I found my summer job;
my first day was the day before my birthday. The job bored me out of my skull
but it motivated the hell out of me to get on with what I moved to England to
accomplish… a brand new adventure.
May
Sadly though, in May, I still hadn’t gotten to module 2 of my £50 TEFL certificate. I was questioning my decisions one day at work when I received an email telling me that the Poland TEFL Internship had reopened and to book now. With it, I had to buy a new TEFL certificate and spend half of my savings but after some deliberation with my lovely mum I decided to book it the next day. And so TEFL number two began. I filled out the internship application form and awaited the interview date, and in that time learned all about the evils of grammar…
June
The email came on the 4th of June, my interview was to be on the 6th. So far I had kept it quiet at work but by the time the next 3 weeks had passed everyone knew what I was doing. The interview itself was terrifying. If I did it now I would be fine, as I fully understand the relevance of his questions, but that night, when I hit ‘end’ on the Skype call and sighed the biggest sigh of relief in recent months.
The next three weeks were hell. I refreshed my emails every
5 minutes, I hounded my references for intel; I was convinced I hadn’t got it.
And then on the 26th of June I had just signed in a visitor at work
who was still at the desk on his phone and I clicked refresh. This time it was
purely out of habit. And there it was… ‘job offer’. I didn’t believe it until I
clicked it and as the tears came to my eyes and the smile spread across my face
I texted everyone who knew what I was doing. ‘I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO
POLAND!!’ I found the texts over Christmas, now it just seems surreal. That
weekend myself and my friends all met in Manchester and telling them about
something other than a new job in the oil industry was far too exciting. This
was it, in nine weeks I was going to be in Poland…
July
From now I had more goodbyes to deal with, only 3 months since my first set. I had to do my TEFL, get more money saved, all whilst working full time and going on my mini holidays which had been organised with my mum. London, Newcastle, Manchester, Edinburgh, Liverpool. I saw so many places that summer, and I still have the train tickets to prove it.
Finally, in the last week of July the TEFL was completed.
With all the certificates in pride of place on my shelf I started thinking
about packing… (which I, again, left until the last minute).
August
August was a blur of fear and preparation. The fear came from doubting my abilities as a teacher, but I needn’t have worried. Poland so far has prepared me for all aspects of teaching. Nevertheless, I sent freak out texts and at one point considered backing out. Obviously, I didn’t do that.
After my last day at work (only 4 months there and I felt
gloomy about leaving) I hopped on a train (and another train, and another one,
and then a bus) to Aberdeen for the first time since I legged it in April. It
was amazing to see everyone and catch up on their lives. I am so glad I went
before I got on the plane, because right now I am not sure when I am going to
be back again.
September
At half past 11 on the 1st September I boarded my flight to Krakow. I had never flown alone before so the nerves already in my stomach combined with the Ryanair paranoia wasn’t the best combination. Saying that, I will never have the feeling that I had on that plane again; the pride, the anticipation, the ‘I fucking did it’ realisation. It was such a phenomenal feeling.
All my worries and fears about teaching were quickly stomped
out of me in training, and after a mild issue involving the law I got right
into teaching. It felt natural the minute I got into the classroom and from
that moment I knew that I was doing the right thing.
By the end of September I had moved from Bielsko to Gliwice
to Krakow, where I finally settled and got stuck in…
October
October was a whirlwind of sightseeing, vodka and getting to know my new flatmates. There isn’t a lot to say about October. I was teaching and I was experiencing Krakow; I was loving my new life.
November
November was much the same; expect the anticipation of a Polish Christmas was ever present. Morale wise it was the best month due to a few issues, but Krakow never failed to disappoint and by the second week it really began to feel like home. I extended my contract until the end of June and was ecstatic to spend an extra four months in this new world I had found myself in. Tram roulette was born, IKEA was experienced, and our tram passes appeared. I will never forget playing tram roulette at 3am and just waiting at Lubicz for 45 minutes because I was flat out refusing to walk the two stops home.
A good friend of mine visited at the end of the month and it
was awesome to show her around my new home. Saying goodbye was sad but the
minute I left the airport I had to get stuck back into lesson planning and teaching. It was a lovely change to have her here though.
December
And just like that we had thirty-one days left of what had been an eventful year. December was filled with chocolate, winter lessons, Christmas lessons, too many cups of mulled wine but some very rewarding classes.
I went home for the last week. Landing in Leeds was more
emotional than I expected it to be. This was the longest I had been out of
Britain for and going back was quite the culture shock. Being at home was
amazing though, and the ability to talk with my loved ones without Skype filled
me with so much joy. But then before I knew it I was back on Polish soil and in
my bedroom/kitchen.
2013 meant so much to me. When I think back to where I was
at the start of the year I can’t believe all that has changed. I had lived
in Aberdeen for my whole life and gotten myself into vicious circle from it all. At the
start of the year I just couldn’t find a way out, but the minute I left everything
fell into place. The moment I wrote those resolutions in January I knew I
wanted to change things for myself, but after saying that for so many years I
didn’t believe it would actually happen. I didn't realise how much I was willing to do and how far I was willing to go at that time just to be happy. I am aware of how self-gratifying I am
appearing right now but I am so insanely proud of myself. In just twelve short
months I changed my attitude, my outlook and my motivations for the better, and
believe me, if I can do it, anyone can.
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